Struck down without warning, I blame dad who'd been making these strange noises from his nose, whilst covering most of his face with a tissue... weird until you realise why.

From breathing normally to snot city in 24 hours, my daily workout routine was a real struggle with the 1/2hr on the bouncing machine followed by some free work with the toys really taking it out of me. However I was determined not to let myself go... a girl's got to look after her figure you know... you never know who you'll meet. Anyway a trip to my favourite doctor and some delicious drink, and I'm through the worst. Heaven knows what I looked like though, despite being nice a trim, I must have been covered in snot... how attractive!

So fear not my friends, the snot monster may get you, but he can be beaten. Anyway as with most things there are advantages, in extra food and fuss... make the most of them chums.       

Earlier in the week I attended my first music lesson, never too young to start, and if I say so myself I think there is talent lurking in those drumming hands. I'd better start living the rock star lifestyle... come to think of it, I don't do anything for myself... I am already!

Lastly some sad news, the house, sorry MY house, is now home to a new and deadly inhabitant, a video camera. Yes, to my horror, there I was the other evening, happily bouncing away, when mum starting pointing this thing in my direction. Well I instantly recognised it, and although I played along for a little while, on came the sad face, a few whines and tears, and what do you know the creature went away... whew!

I remain in my guard, and fearful at my loss of privacy at such a young age. Do they forget I heard all about 'Big Brother' through the wall of the womb, and I don't want any of that thank you.

So chums be careful should a similar beast stalk you house, and be ready with every trick and tantrum in your armoury to defeat it...... good luck toddler friends! 

There she was just talking to me in that silly voice... don't they know I can talk just like they can, but just can't be bothered... you can get away with murder as they put it down to not understanding... brilliant!

Anyway, I wasn't too bothered by all this, as far as I can remember... then all of a sudden I just decided that I'd like a closer look at her eye... I'm sure I saw a lash in there that needed removing.  Without warning I struck, just meaning to brush past you understand, but I miscalculated and sent her recoiling in pain, as I'd nearly plucked her eye out!.... What a horrible thought!

Anyway, I just sneaked out to let you know friends, don't underestimate your own strength, but make sure you use it wisely... I'm sure things wouldn't be as cosy if mommy couldn't see so well.

Must go, they're coming back, assuming they can see where they're going!

Here I am, just starting to get round, and then they jab me in both legs with this torture instrument... oh the pain!. Well after the usual wailing trick, and plenty of attention (still works every time), I started to feel a bit funny, and my right leg.... well it went all pathetic on me. I couldn't bend it or stand on it... what a nightmare! From being semi-mobile to flapping around aimlessly in a few short hours.... freaky.

On the positive side, I got to see my favourite doctor again (twice in 2 days - oh, the attention) and was treated like the invalid patient I was.

Anyway my chums, you'll be pleased to know the paralysis has worn of, and my legs are now working again. Just to prove it I splashed water all over the bathroom floor, from inside the bath... impressive eh!    

So, fear not if after being tortured yourself, you end up like a fish out of water, flapping about all over the place... It'll pass.

Must go, they're coming back.

There I was minding my own business, being carried upstairs to be relieved of my soiled underwear... don't you just love doing another one, just a few minutes after the last.... when they've just settled down.... parent fools, when will they learn!

Anyway, where was I, oh yes... on the stairs. One minute, thinking of my next meal, or was it a quantum physics problem that had been troubling me... never mind.... the next............. I thought my head was going to explode!!!!!!

Mum had only tripped over her big old feet and thrown me headlong to the floor....I thought I was a gonner! Well, an opportunity for a bit of high volume wailing was in order, just to get the point across, and fuss was mine for the rest of the day.... milk it while you can my friends.

Must go, they're coming back.... so long as I'm not brain damaged and forget how to use this thing, I'll update you all again soon.